The title is very obvious about the content it is going to deal with !! Have you ever been friends with both sides ? I mean, have you got an opportunity to know the girl very well just like how you are with a guy ?? If you are in a such position, you will always get to listen to both their versions of the same incident and most often you end up cursing your position ;) Seriously, If you must solve their problem, then you must have read wren & martin at least once.. are you asking me why ? it’s because you should learn how to convert active voice to passive voice, how to paraphrase the same sentence, how to convert a statement into an interrogative type etc., You’ll know a lot in detail as you read through this post..
“How did you meet? “, This was how he answered : “I was almost lost en route to a certain tuition, and i was in a place where even Google maps would struggle to get the co-ordinates. It was a dead end, and i could already hear the passerby scoffing at me. It was when i met her”, he paused there momentarily, and then he moved to the details part which i know was coming any moment, “she was there in her dark maroon lady bird cycle, hair plaited in a typical school girl style, just like an angel (fitting vachi adikurathu), i smiled at her (romantic look) even after seeing that hideous grimace, and then i followed her to get back that lost route” (he would have followed her even if he wasn’t lost, i told myself) But you know how she answered for the same question, “That guy so dumb and was looking totally lost, even in that embarrassing situation he was trying to flirt ! Could you imagine ?” she stopped it there for a girly giggle, gloating that a guy fell for her in that first meet. “He was smiling for glory, which was exactly like a ginger eaten monkey kinda..” .. so that’s their perspectives of that first meet.. Perspectives are always like that, it differs from one person to the other.. Once i met with a small road accident, i just bumped into a guy who was coming in the opposite direction. We both were careless, and once that happened we just smiled at each other and left the scene immediately. The Auto wala who was coming from behind gave a loud comment, “Padicha pullainga” (literate people, see how decently they move on), but only that tea shop Nair knows the truth that we guys were looking at the beautiful girl who was about to cross the road before we bumped into each other. So that’s how perspectives differ you see :D
Fine fine, coming back to the role which i had taken, i used to often think how does Solomon paappayya manage to give this unbiased decision every single time.. They actually broke up some time back which worsened the situation, even if they had been together, I would not have gotten into this shit, but ever since they broke up, i used to often think about a life at the forest monasteries in Tibet..Yea, to that extent.. He explained the break up like this ( so many times for a jus a lunch offered i had to listen to this ), “ You know who did propose first dont you ?”, he didn even look up to see me nodding sideways , he continued “It was her, She pulled up the idea of this marriage and all this jazz.. I did like her but when i came to know about her cousin and all her stuffs, I just went back and pulled myself together, she was baiting me actually, and only after a lot of fake promising talks I did accept her..I initially had a lot of things going on in my mind, yes .. I took a long time to decide but once when i made up my mind, I was fixed on her… I did love her unconditionally, i was totally true to her, never did i have any kinda second thoughts about the decision i made.. u know !”, once in a while you have to pretend as if you are listening to everything for the first time (pollathavan style).. “What was the problem with me? why should someone all of a sudden pull out the cord ? ( i dont know when was it plugged in first ) We both came from the same community, a known family background, i’m earning decently and I’m good looking as well..” I stopped eating and looked at him, he realized that i was still listening.. “ ok ok, I’m average looking alright, but still why so much fuss about accepting me now ? if she was not so sure about it, why the heck did she give me fake promises ? ”.. I replied, “dai, now what’s your problem ? first tell me the reason that she quoted for this break up ..” he angrily replied, “Mr. Sherlock fucking Holmes, if you find that out, come and let me know..My guess is that she is planning a life with her cousin, which was what her mom was interested in initially.. She is just using her mom’s name here for a lame excuse, she’s just bored with this relationship”.. look at that dialogue, did it have any kinda logic attached to it ? he starts some where and lands some where else.. Trust me, this is how most of his conversations were, losing most of his logic part.. this time i was irritated, looking at my reactions, he answered promptly, “ok ok, chill.. this is the original version, when i was in my home town for a certain feast, she called me and said, hey this is not going to work out as we were planning, my mom said "NO” once and for all, so forget me and move on, in life no one gets to be single, so you will find someone else better”, this time i was partially able to understand what he was going through..
Being a guy you’d always support another guy’s cause however blind it is, and so I just enquired a little more. It really sounded like a nasty break up, the girl never gave a valid reason. When you are with someone, how do you presume that you would not have any difficulties ? If you love someone, and if you feel that they are a part of you already, then you must be ready to face all the consequences. If you feel that your parents are not going to accept it or if you feel that you cannot convince them, then you shouldn’t have fallen for someone in the first place. So If you had taken that decision already, then you must tackle it no matter what comes in your way, find the loop holes, target it and get it done. I know, that there are too many ifs, but still it pains a lot ‘if’ you come to know that this isn’t going to work after getting along really well. A friend shared a quote like this : “A clear rejection is always better than a faking promise”, No I dont think so.. i guess both are equally hurting from a boy’s end, because most often he unconsciously attaches himself with that concerned person irrespective of the whether she likes him or not. Take your time to decide, that’s not a problem at all, talk to whomever you want to, do all your groundwork, but then once you decide, you better not look back. If you do, then this is how it is..
After listening to all this, I wanted to call her and ask those 4 tongue pulling questions :P, I did really want to vent out all that bottled up frustration that he gave me during that talk. But unfortunately I was not able to get in touch with her for a while. After a couple of months, she called me and asked me to show up at a certain place. I asked her “why did you do this to him ?” on behalf of that poor soul who was literally lost in his thoughts. “Not all answers can soothe his soul, the mystery should stay within us, certain things if not explained are better”. I said, “hey stop all this philosophy, I’ve heard enough from him and it’s better you tell me what went wrong”, “I love my dad very much, never had there been a single moment in my life have I been stopped for doing a certain thing. This was the first time, i was stopped by both of my parents, I was literally asked to stop everything with him. My mom had been telling me for a while that I had to reduce talking to him, but I did not let him know that I was facing some opposition here. In fact I didn’t take it seriously first, But one fine day my dad called me. He used to always convey things through my mom, but this time it was him. He talked me out of this”, a momentary pause, she sighed, and then she went on, “ My father has never ever asked me anything, he has never stopped me in anything right from when i was a kid. When he started begging me something, how do you expect me to fight or even talk back ?”, “Oh so your father asked you something, and you stopped everything is it ?? what did your father tell you ?”, “He said that he didnt like the boy’s family background, there was some issue which even after insisting they never let me know about it. “, “ Oh, so they tell you something about the family background and you drop it there is it ?”.. “Yea, i told you how much i love my dad, and if he does something for me, it will be definitely for my good.. “ , “ you have been with him for such a long time, you know him better than me, leave all his family thing, you are going to live with him right ? “, “It’s good for an argument, but it wont be practically correct if there is a problem with the family” (ithellam ippo nalla pesunga) ..
I was still not satisfied with that answer, how come you drop everything just like that ? Something more solid needs to be there I thought.. “Then what about the promise you gave him ? and all that dreams you shared? he is in complete soup, do you know his pathetic psychological state ?”.. , She said, “ I never gave him a promise at any point, he was my friend and a potential life partner thats all”.. WTF ?! I retorted, “this is a sadistic reply, i never expected this from you.. now even I’m thinking that you ‘dumped’ him for some other reason.. ok ?”, by then she started crying, and with that lump thing in her throat she replied, “ My father is no more, he passed away in an road accident 2 months back, My mom hasn’t come out of that still, there are so many family problems that are going on now and i don’t want to cause any additional trouble to her any more. She’s already broken. I did like him ok ? It was why i did not tell him the reason about his family background, which i thought might hurt him very badly..Not every time does these things happen, but my case is an exception.. Now tell me, did i ‘DUMP’ him ?? Loving and letting go are one and the same process, He is a very nice guy and he deserves someone really good. Dont let him know even about this chat that we are having right now, it is how i can become someone whom he will eventually hate and forget. He should move on !.. ” That was the last word and I couldn’t speak any more. Perspectives you see !!